How to write a gratitude letter that will make you and the recipient feel good
If y'all are looking to make someone – even yourself – feel meliorate during the pandemic, consider writing a gratitude letter of the alphabet.
You lot tin can think of it as a slightly longer and more meaningful thank-you note, merely instead of offering thanks for a concrete gift, you are offering cheers for something that was washed or said.
There are two excellent reasons for writing a gratitude letter: Information technology will make you feel really good, and it volition make the recipient experience great.
Among the enquiry showing the benefits of letter writing is a study led by Indiana University and published in 2022 in the journal Psychotherapy Research and led by Indiana University, which tested whether gratitude writing helps people seeking psychotherapy.
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Scientists randomly assigned the 293 participants to three groups: Those receiving psychotherapy, those receiving psychotherapy and participating in expressive writing, or those receiving psychotherapy and participating in gratitude-alphabetic character writing.
Fifty-fifty in the small written report, participants in the gratitude group reported significantly amend mental health than the other two groups, even three months after the trial ended.
On the receiving end, opening a gratitude letter feels even improve than you might imagine. Amit Kumar, a social scientist at the University of Texas at Austin, studies the reactions of gratitude-letter of the alphabet recipients.
"It'south not like it makes some people feel great and some people feel just okay and some people feel kind of weird," he said of his research findings. "Near everybody is saying that they feel really, really not bad."
The principal barrier to expressing gratitude in a sentimental letter, he said, is the perceived clumsiness.
"Part of the reason we did this research – the hope, at least – is that we will encourage people to do this more often," Kumar said.
"If you know from empirical research that information technology'due south not actually every bit awkward as you think and that it will mean a great bargain to the person, maybe that can assistance y'all get over that hurdle."
Then if you were waiting for the correct moment to offset fully expressing your love and gratitude, maybe that time is now. Here's how to offset.
DETERMINE THE RECIPIENT
The first footstep is to decide whom to write to – possibly a career mentor, a supportive family member or a beloved friend.
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When Chris Schembra, author of the book Gratitude And Pasta: The Secret Sauce For Man Connection, runs virtual gratitude workshops for executives through his company, 7:47, he begins with this question: "If you could give credit or thanks to one person in your life that y'all don't requite enough credit or thanks to, who would that be?"
The answers vary, he said; executives take mentioned a former boss, a fifth-class teacher and a stranger who saved a life.
Nancy Davis Kho, who in 2022 published The Thank-You Project, a book about her twelvemonth writing 50 gratitude letters, offers this exercise: "Speedily, recall of the five people you want to hug first after quarantine."
And so, write their names downwards, she said, because "even carrying effectually that list is a reminder that you are not by yourself".
GATHER YOUR SUPPLIES
Decide your letter of the alphabet-writing method and get your supplies, such as jotter or notecards.
Handwritten messages are the gold standard considering your handwriting is an extension of y'all. It's personal and tactile. And don't let messy penmanship be a deterrent: No one is expecting calligraphy.
But there's cypher wrong with typed letters; Davis Kho prefers to type and and then print hers. Either way, the point is to create a physical artifact that the person start enjoys as a surprise in the mailbox and so can keep every bit a memento.
THINK Nigh YOUR RECIPIENT
Once you have decided to whom to write, recall about that person and his or her office in your life. You don't need to spend a lot of fourth dimension, just articulate away any distractions and focus on some of your almost cherished memories of this person.
Think about how you met, what the recipient has washed for you at what toll, what the person said that you accept never forgotten or ways y'all have applied his or her advice in your life.
Jot downward a few bullet points or fifty-fifty a short outline if you would like, but do not overthink or get caught upward on planning.
A gratitude letter of the alphabet demand non encapsulate your entire human relationship or embrace everything this person ways to you. You lot tin say thanks for only one thing.
Sit Down AND WRITE
If it makes you more than comfortable, you lot tin start the letter of the alphabet by detailing a reason for reaching out. Davis Kho started her letters by explaining that information technology was a milestone altogether year for her and that she was writing to people who had fabricated a divergence in her life.
Yous could say you were inspired by this article. Or you lot tin can keep your letter-writing reasons to yourself and just commencement with "thank you".
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Retrieve back to your brainstorm, and, using evocative details, tell the person why you are grateful.
That could be the exact words you think this person saying and where you were when they were said. Add how it made yous feel – then and at present.
The recipient might remember the result or favour y'all are referring to, but the person most likely does non know how information technology made you feel (Thankful, probably, but also, peradventure, blithesome? Safe? Relieved? Inspired?).
Don't hold back. Information technology takes a little bravery, but writing sincerely and from the middle turns a polite notation into a meaningful memento.
WRITE IN YOUR STYLE
Don't worry near crafting each sentence merely so. Yous're trying to become to the meaning backside the words.
If yous can, try to write the mode y'all speak. Imagine the person is on the phone: What would y'all say?
Y'all might get caught up in selecting exactly what to say. But Kumar suggested you lot remember that your recipient will not exist scrutinising your selection of words.
"They are but reading what you have to say and thinking, 'This is really nice,'" he said. "They aren't thinking, 'Well, how could it have been nicer?'"
Instead of writing a traditional letter, feel free to write a more coincidental bulleted list.
To a career mentor, you might say something like, "I've been looking dorsum on the stages of my career and thinking of people who made an impact. You are high up on the list. Hither are five times your communication fabricated a difference".
FINISH Potent
End with gratitude and a compliment. What does this favour or event say about the person? Is information technology indicative of her or his generosity or kindness? Say that explicitly.
With the final "thanks", you could perhaps add a wish for the future – to meet at that museum you both love or to return to the town where y'all met.
KEEP COPIES
Just as your recipient might keep the letter, and so can yous. Snap a picture or scan the letter before sending.
Davis Kho has printed out all of her typewritten letters and bound them into a volume.
"When I'chiliad feeling low, the volume reminds me that I've done a proficient chore selecting people," she said, "and that there are people hidden in plain sight who brand our lives ameliorate."
By Gina Hamadey © The New York Times
This article originally appeared in The New York Times.
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/27/at-home/how-to-write-a-gratitude-letter.html
Source: https://cnalifestyle.channelnewsasia.com/wellness/how-to-write-a-gratitude-letter-237891
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